think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
