Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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