We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
