I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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