I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
