I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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