yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize