Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
