No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
