Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
