Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
