I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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