I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
