nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
