Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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