Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
