She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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