It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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