hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
