I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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