I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
