just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
