Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
