You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
