She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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