I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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