Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize