Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
