It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
