He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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