a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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