We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize