Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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