im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
