is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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