And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
