At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
