If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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