You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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