Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
