Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
