the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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