Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i dont even know how to be here
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
