i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
