My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
