Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
