But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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