I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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