Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
