Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
