Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
