She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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