Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
