when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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