How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
