o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
