I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
