Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
