Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we should paint friendship bongs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize