No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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