the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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