Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
