My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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