I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
