I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
